4 April 2008
*JuMp*
Today’s Query: How much money would it take for you to lick the 10 lbs. human hairball extracted from an 18 year old girl’s belly last year?
Refer to CNN report “Doctors untangle the strange case of the giant hairball.”
Today is the first day of the rest of this mess...
Today’s Query: How much money would it take for you to lick the 10 lbs. human hairball extracted from an 18 year old girl’s belly last year?
Refer to CNN report “Doctors untangle the strange case of the giant hairball.”
A) Define ‘Lick’
If it was a brief ‘lick’ on said hairball I would do it for pretty cheap - say $500 (I don’t get out of bed for less than $500…)
If I had to gnaw on the damn thing we’re talking $100K…
B) What is the state of the hairball?
Factors that would increase cost i) has it been disinfected, am I in danger of disease? ii) is it all wet and icky direct from surgery or worse has it been sitting out in the sun getting gross and rotted?
see, the trick is when you get down to lick it you push the persons face in…
The fact that there is a conversation cropping up around this, is what I’m finding most disturbing. Mostly, because I find myself taking part.
This strange furry creature looks like something from an old Grimm tale. While all of the factors Mr. Gustie speaks of are true and of proper girth, I would be slow to take this task at face value.
Beyond the properties of said hairball, there are the involuntary responses one is likely to succumb to, that will, more than anything else, determine whether one is able to actually follow through with the measure.
For instance, smell. While knowledge of where a thing has been and what a thing is, challenges the mind in ways that test a persons willpower, the unavoidable and unknowable factors, like smell, offer the greatest challenge.
I would suggest, no person is that strong. Think nothing of a clogged drain.
Honey, can you carve me off a slice of that hairball and pass the gravy while you’re at it?
So I was thinking… besides the obvious that trichophagia is one of those rare emotional disorders (and not nearly as prevalent as daddy complexes and oral fixations in girls and women, or narcissism in men who are douche bags), how did she walk around all those months with 10 frigging pounds of hair in her gut? Did she hack, gag, and choke the way a kitty does, or did she merely vomit?
National museum of health and medicine has this specimen from a 12 year old girl.
http://nmhm.washingtondc.museum/explore/anatifacts/4_trich.html
In response to the olfactory assault dilemma: Fabreze. If it works for some of the all nighters in clubs I have pulled of late, where people chain-smoke like Lucky Luke, it may be able to squelch … well, I hesitate to hypothesize about the bile and rancid acid stench.
An aside, when I was a teen I was fascinated with frotteurism and similar odd pathologies. Frotteurism is a paraphilia in which sexual arousal or orgasm is achieved by actual or fantasized rubbing up against another person, usually in a crowded place with an unsuspecting victim. Now why does frotteurism amuse me while I find trichophagia so deeply disturbing?
It’s obvious, one is sexual (even if odd by standards) and the other is not.
But I might suggest, your preference (or amusement) might not be so determined if this frotteurist was also a hairball fetishist, be it a device used in frotteurizing or merely a 10 pound specimen hidden deep in the abdomen.
Perhaps Fabreze would be more effective against the unsuspecting frotteurist, than the “be all you can be” hairball.
This is my kind of hypothetical discussion!
My answer…make me some migas and gimme like $12 bucks and I’ll fuckin frotteurise the damn thing.
Thank you,
Russ
Although I may point out that licking the human hair ball is less appetizing than molesting the darn thing.
That said, you are the second person here willing to do anything to this “be all you can be” hairball - as Jeremy put it. As such you were one of two to remotely answer the question “How much money would it take for you to lick the 10 lbs. human hairball extracted from an 18 year old girl’s belly last year?” So congratulations to you and August. Any other takers?
wait… do you have to lick the whole, thick, naughty, hairball up and down… sigh… repeatedly… or - errr… wrong forum. maybe.